Why do I feel like this?

The first chat is often splattered with hilarious stories surrounding booze, cars, work situations, money etc and it’s always insightful, but as a professional listener, I’m hearing a different narrative.

‘Please like me’ is what they are saying – ‘I’m fun?’.

But they are no-longer having fun, and it’s why they’re talking to me.

I used to be like them.

I know how they feel.

‘The Grumble Strip’

The ‘grumble strip’ normally kicks in during the first coffee. A vocal download of amusing stories and half-truths that has been told a hundred times.

An extremely well-polished and believable pitch – they do seem like fun, and I do like them, but they don’t like themselves anymore, and you can tell.

The stories have become about someone they used to be, and they now act as nothing more than a painful reminder of what life was like when they were having fun.

The stories remind them of their happier past, and they dislike the stories every bit as much as the versions of themselves they’ve become.

Man-up.

I am sure it’s not exclusive to men, but there is a point in a man’s life when you realise that life’s not quite what you thought it would be.

You might have the job, the wife, the kids, the car and the holiday, but you’re still not happy.

You’ve tried working out, new clothes, spending money, golf, bikes, football, drink, drugs and taking crazy risks, but nothing really scratches that itch.

And now you’ve lost the body, and the wife is looking at the door – maybe she’s already left – maybe it’s all too late?

You have a hole in your soul, and you do not know why.

You think you may have depression, but there is nothing to be depressed about.

You have become the person you thought you’d never be.

And that is why you talk about the past, you don’t feel like you have a future.

Life looks pretty good from the outside doesn’t it?

Is life meant to be such a grind?

As a child your first bike lock gave you importance, and it felt great, but now you’re in your 40’s and you have more keys and passwords that you could ever imagine – you’ve made it!?

You’re a success on the outside, but who defined this verion of success, because you don’t like it that much?

It’s taken 40+ years to realise that success sucks, it’s just too much stress.

And so reality kicks in….

You’re flat out busy, with nothing to do.

You’ve got too much on, but you’re still bored.

You’re desperate for change, but you don’t know what you want.

You want to feel something.

You want to feel anything, so you drink, or eat, or isolate, or bitch and moan.

You’ve tried everything.

Any then the walls begin to shake.

Your relationships suffer, your kids don’t respect you, your friends get on your nerves and the sofa becomes your best friend.

“Just leave me alone….”