In recent months I’ve gone back to bottled milk, delivered on the doorstep.
Sure, it’s more expensive, but it somehow feels right, nostalgic even.
I love full-fat milk on my oats, I love seeing the bottles when I come down the stairs and the milk and orange juice tastes better from a glass bottle, so for me it’s worth the extra cost.
Who knew milk could give us so much!
But this post isn’t about milk, it’s about a moment with my son.
How to open a bottle of milk.
My son, having never opened a glass bottle of milk before was both curious and determined.
He rushed in, keen to open the bottle his way, so I watched, whilst trying not to laugh.
He first tried with his fingernails, then unsure reached for a knife, and whilst almost cutting himself in the process proudly displayed how he’d opened the bottle.
He did it – and all on his own.
But he did it all wrong, so I told him.
He needed to do it my way.
The better way.
You see, my son was oblivious to the fact that a gentle press on the foil cap was all it took to release the seal, give that slight ‘ffpst’ and hey presto – perfectly cold, fresh and creamy milk, and you could then put the lid back on!
But this isn’t how my teaching was received – and laughing didn’t help.
He wasn’t thrilled at my suggested way forward, or it seems my tutoring style.
And the only thing he seemed to have heard me say was – “you’re doing it wrong”.
“It’s open isn’t it!?”
“Yes, but there is another way…”
“It doesn’t matter Dad !- it’s just milk!”
He responded in the way I suspect many 17 year old lads might,,…..
He was no-longer willing to listen or learn.
I lost, and he won – or so he now thinks.
“You’re doing it wrong”.
In light of the challenges we face, and the family fights and arguments we’ll no doubt continue to have, this isn’t a big problem.
We’re certainly not going to cry over milk that’s not even been spilt, but teaching Harry a better and more satisfying way to open the milk has now become all the more challenging, for me.
We both know I’m right – but nothing will see him admit defeat over how to open the milk.
He always opens the milk with a knife.
He leaves tinfoil on the side.
He thinks his way is faster.
He thinks his way is better.
He drinks all the milk in one go, so ‘doesn’t need the lid’….
His way is right.
My way is wrong.
But everyone in the family now agrees that I care far too much about how we open milk …. it’s ‘become a thing’.
Parenting is hard.
We all know that growth comes through trial, error, struggle and frustration, but we’d all do well to also remember that public opinion, even if well directed, and with good intentions, can do more to derail a new learning than encourage it.
Also that not all the answers need to be delivered immediately, or in the heat of the moment, and that sometimes we need to stand back and watch.
Could it be that with the eagerness to teach, we sometimes kill the flame of learning?
It’s no doubt that most profound lessons come from the simplest of moments—like opening a bottle of milk.
camping jedi 
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