I believe it is essential that our kids understand the value of money, graft for what they have, value what’s in their pocket and recognise that nothing comes easy. As such, they both work and have from a young age whilst studying.
It is my believe that if we give them everything, or it’s handed to them on a plate then we’re doing little more than setting them up to potentially live a life of misery and disappointment.
Too harsh? bear with me…
You want your kids to move out I gather?
To have a place of their own one day?
Maybe the occasional holiday??
I agree – so let’s do the maths.
This is the cheapest flat within 10 miles of my house.
£1,603 PER MONTH
PER MONTH
Rent £1,600
Council tax £150
Gas/electric £200
Water £35
Food £350
Internet £25
Phone £25
Car £250
Car insurance £100
Car maintenance £50
Fuel £50
Stuff – toiletries, cleaning products etc £200
£42,000 per year is what you’ll need to get started.
Wake up people!
£42K per year, to live in the cheapest flat in Reading, with a perceived low quality of life, and you’re not really even getting by…
Want a 1 week holiday? Another £150 per month
Broken car, boiler, door, laptop – Another £200 per month
Want some new clothes for yourself? Another £150 per month
Some insurance to smooth out the bumps? £100pm
Mental health and stress creaking yet??
Relax, just add some hobbies, take it easy?
Coffee and cake with mates at the park – £40 per month.
Cinema – £50 per month
Gym – £100 per month.
Pub – £100?
PC Gamer – £150?
A Dog – add another £80 PM..
£50,000.00 is not enough, and costs are going up and Up And UP!
Parents must recognise that the future for our young adults is going to be VERY different to our own.
We must help them focus on spending not earning.
McDonalds is a treat.
A newer phone a luxury item.
A car is a luxury item
And so are branded clothes, fancy perfumes, new nails and trainers, and yet none of these things add value or importance to any meaningful relationship.
Luxuries that appear ‘normal’ for us as mature adults, may not be ‘normal’ for our kids.
We must not set false expectations on what is achievable and they must know the reality of what’s on their horizon.
I believe we must help them understand that things in the future will be harder than they are today.
Ask yourself this:
What does a mum spending £200 on a cut and colour say to a young adult?
OK – an extreme example, but it sends a message.
We must ensure the messages we give our kids are fully understood and valued.
Todays normal is no-longer sustainable.
What would moving out look like for a typical 25YO?
Aspirational?
Or just down right depressing?
So let’s paint the perfect picture.
You’re 25, have the first class degree, the 50K job, and an amazing life. You’re literally the success story that everyone is talking about – and so you’re buying your first flat. But you’re still racking up debts to get your nails done and call the locksmith? Then klarna knocks on the door, the credit cards build up, a relationship fails, the job faulters, a parking fine and then the friend mocks your 18 month old phone…….so you get an upgrade.
Time to lean on your savings?
What savings…?
So what can we do as adults to help the youngers??
We must surely see that more needs to be done to help young people prepare for their future?
The current path is unsustainable and so surely we must recognise that, and talk about that with them now.
They have tough times ahead.
It’s already tough for young people.
They need to be financially responsible now, and learn healthy spending habits that see them safe into their future.
They need to focus much more on how they feel, and much less about what they’ve got.
They must focus on their vision on happiness, not ours, and we must respect and support them in their chosen path.
You do not ‘Only live once’.
YOU DIE ONCE.
We live everyday.
I fear that many parents, me included, have potentially miss-sold a life-style that’s not realistic, or frankly even remotely within their grasp. Having had some tougher shifts recently at Samaritans I fear some of our younger people have been badly let down. Let down by people setting poor examples and expectations upon them, without offering them tools to cope, nor explaining how things used to be different.
The world is not the same.
I bought my first house at 22 for £110K, with a 105% mortgage – but I was earning £70,000, and the Mrs was working too.
The world we lived in has long gone, along with the 75p pints.
It’s what you spend, not what you earn, that is important now.
It’s ‘how you feel’, not what you’ve got, that’s important now.
It’s about love, closeness and honest communication within a small circle.
I now believe we must show the youngens how we can live differently – and today.
Enough of the more, more, more and excess. It’s a terrible example to set.
This Mental Health time bomb can’t be left for the kids to defuse for themselves whilst we sip champaign in our fancy pants and Raybans.
I don’t have the answers, but I do feel we need to have a word with ourselves every bit as much as with our kids, and so I took steps to start that process, and things are starting to change for the better.
People have commented recently that I appear a bit broken.
I’m am not.
I’m trying to live with less, and it’s hard.
Maybe we all should, if only for the kids.
camping jedi 
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