More doer than thinker or drinker – nearly 9 years sober

There’s something about approaching 50 that makes you reflect. Not in a crisis-driven, red-sports-car kind of way, but in a quiet, content acknowledgment of the journey so far. If you’d met me at 40, you might not have predicted how things look today.

At 40, I was heavier, slower and drifting. Fitness wasn’t a priority and life was dictated by busyness rather than purpose. My kids were growing up fast and I didn’t want to remain the dad who struggled to keep up with them, nor life.

I didn’t want to be the stressed, overweight, grumpy, shouty dad that was always tired, but as everyone knows, change doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes never.

During that time change felt impossible, but it started with small shifts in the mind and meeting others who wanted the same as me. Those I met, their thoughts, guidance, tips and relationships eventually turned the gears and I gained momentum until one day I realised I wasn’t the same person anymore.

Today, fitness is also a big part of who I am. Strength, endurance and the wider buzz and joy of feeling healthy drive me forward to do more – a healthy addiction I think. Its nolonger about weight loss or clearing a hangover, it’s about living fully, staying awake longer and getting up earlier.

It’s about making it (life) last and making it more rewarding, fulfilling and memorable.

The fitness has given me the second wind I never saw coming, and also fed meditation, healthier eating and given me a much needed drug/drink free outlet.

My fitness and general health and energy levels have also allowed me to build TheTidyGarden – my most recent and best idea yet.

The TD has 100% enhanced life for me. It’s given me another escape. A reset button for when I need it. The TD is a forced, paid, physical and mental escape – it’s brilliant.

There’s something deeply satisfying about working with my hands, breathing in fresh air and watching things grow. It reminds me of when I was a teenager when weekends and summers were spent gardening for teachers and locals.

It’s not about the money. It’s about neat flower beds, trimmed hedges, feeling youthful, doing good and adding structure to my week that ensures I’m the best version of me.

The TD is forcing space into my own mind so I can think less, and getting paid is a bonus.

Like others, I’ve almost always lived in a world that demands constant attention, and so stepping outside and getting lost in the dirt isn’t just grounding, it’s freeing. I note how I rarely even touch my phone on Fridays, as sure sign that the TD is not just about me working on myself, but that others benefit from my efforts.

Nearly 9 Years Sober – Clarity:

I’m also approaching nine years without alcohol. It’s taken a while and some effort to get to this point and I often wonder how different life would be if I hadn’t made that choice.

Would I have the same drive, focus, and energy if drinking?

The same relationships or clarity?

No. I wouldn’t.

At the time, I didn’t really think I was an alcoholic.

Now I know 100% that I was.

Some call it a spiritual awakening, others call it sobriety or a clarity of mind, but whatever it is, it changed everything.

The fog lifted first, then the physical, mental, and emotional weight began to fall away also.

The broken promises, the overthinking, the wasted days, fake enthusiasm, lethargy and my general argumentative and controlling traits—also all began to disappear. I used to make big plans after a few drinks, bold declarations that never lasted past the morning after.

Now, I don’t just talk—I do.

Much more of a doer than a thinker, or drinker.